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Altercations galore

That's London traffic for you


Posted: 4 February 2010
by Richard Hallett

bike lane
The fag end of cycling

Two successive rides into work, two altercations... Number one was prompted by the actions of a burly push-bike rider (as distinct from a cyclist) on Blackfriars Bridge.

I stopped at the traffic lights at the northern edge of the bridge in the ASL with a bus on my right and a gap of about three feet between us. Timing his run to perfection, said shovie-pusher shot between me and the bus at about 20mph precisely as the lights turned to green-and-amber.

So well-judged was his ride that my annoyance at being brushed at speed was tempered by admiration; nevertheless, I caught up and pointed out the dangers of such riding practices. Part of his response was to tell me not to wobble as I set off...

Ah, well; no point in making too much of it. Timing my own effort to a nicety, I made each of the next three sets of lights just before they turned to amber and stopped as usual on red at Cowcross Street. As the lights changed, I clipped in and heaved on my pedals only to feel, as I reached a decent speed, a nudge on my left hip. Looking back, I saw my new friend placed nicely on my inside as he tried to nip past. This time I did wobble, nudging his hand with my hip trackie-style and sending him veering wildly towards the kerb.

Managing to stay on board, he issued an immediate invitation to climb off and "sort things out" in a manner that hinted he might have done that sort of thing before. I regretfully declined, Farringdon Road being busy at that time of day, and instead maintained station with my hip level with his 'bars. This advantageous placing allowed my in turn to spend a few seconds pointing out once again the dangers of his way of riding.

Somehow, the nudge seemed to have encouraged a change of heart, for he then apologised and his aggressive demeanor evaporated. Maybe the possibility of another, delivered with intent, had something to do with it, but in any case I decided to depart while ahead in more ways than one.

The next morning, riding along Upper Ground and approaching Hatfields at the back of King's Reach Tower, I was obliged to ride around a delivery lorry that drove slowly and deliberately from Hatfields across Upper Ground into the parking space near the Oxo Tower.

Rapping on the bonnet, I advised the driver of his error. "Couldn't you see me turning?" he said. "I had priority there, sunshine" I replied. Something about the use of the word "sunshine" threw him and his next expostulation was a mumble. An aggressive mumble, but a mumble nonetheless, and he knew it.

"Leave while ahead" ain't a bad motto, and I did. And it's only the beginning of February...


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Discuss this story

What's constitutes a 'push-bike rider (as distinct from a cyclist)'?
Posted: 04/02/2010 17:18

Someone whose only interest in a cycle is as a means of getting from one place to another without having to walk?
Posted: 04/02/2010 17:43

That's me three days a week.
Posted: 04/02/2010 18:10

Sounds like this guy is some rider if he can keep pace with you Richard and time his runs on lights to perfection at 20mph. Maybe you should have advised him if could have lost some of his burliness (he already obviously has the right amount of aggression) he could be a competitive cyclist!

As for the question: What's constitutes a 'push-bike rider (as distinct from a cyclist)'? I went on a cycling tour with a mate who decided to do the whole trip on a fixed wheel for training, whilst I admired his perseverence, a discussion ensued as to whether he would would manage to ride one particularly steep hill we knew we had to climb. He insisted he would with the comment, 'there's cyclists and people who ride bikes'. As we turned the last corner and saw this monster rear up before us he said, 'I'll settle for riding a bike', and promply got off and walked.


Posted: 04/02/2010 18:42

coolboarder wrote (see)

Sounds like this guy is some rider if he can keep pace with you Richard and time his runs on lights to perfection at 20mph. Maybe you should have advised him if could have lost some of his burliness (he already obviously has the right amount of aggression) he could be a competitive cyclist!

The chap looked as strong as an ox, one reason why I took care to stay in front of him. I try not to encourage people who might turn out to be good; there's enough decent opposition around as it is.

JohnG wrote (see)
That's me three days a week.

And me whenever I need to get to the high street in a hurry...


Posted: 05/02/2010 09:25

I'm sorry, I can't see the word "sunshine" without seeing Eric Morecombe. I think your lorry driver chappie was stopped in his tracks because he felt like crestfallen Ernie Wise getting the legendary double-cheek slaps with, "Alright sunshine?"

 Nurse!


Posted: 05/02/2010 10:28

Wow I cant believe it.

 Richard has coughed to careless and inconsiderate cycling before ever being cautioned.

Now then................... wheres me pen and pad.................Ah there it is..............


Posted: 05/02/2010 16:50

VLAD (the Friendly Vamp) wrote (see)

Wow I cant believe it.

 Richard has coughed to careless and inconsiderate cycling before ever being cautioned.

Now then................... wheres me pen and pad.................Ah there it is..............


Gosh you're more active on the forum than me this evening Vlad.  Surely anything he said before being cautioned cannot be taken into consideration and used at a later date.......


Posted: 05/02/2010 19:08

VLAD (the Friendly Vamp) wrote (see)

Wow I cant believe it.

 Richard has coughed to careless and inconsiderate cycling before ever being cautioned.

Now then................... wheres me pen and pad.................Ah there it is..............

Er, not at all, VLAD:

"This time I did wobble, nudging his hand with my hip trackie-style and sending him veering wildly towards the kerb."

There was no intent to endanger him nor even to wobble. The nudge I gave his hand with my hip was the accidental outcome of my wobble, which in turn was caused by being touched on the hip just as he attempted to pass too close on the inside...

"only to feel, as I reached a decent speed, a nudge on my left hip."

There was only one careless and inconsiderate cyclist in this incident and he apologised once he was able to appreciate the potential dangers (not least to him) of his riding style


Posted: 08/02/2010 10:33

Me thinks you doth protest ones inocence far too much Richard.


Posted: 08/02/2010 17:23

VLAD (the Friendly Vamp) wrote (see)

Me thinks you doth protest ones inocence far too much Richard.


Spoken like a true copper...
Posted: 08/02/2010 18:03

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